He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
