i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
