I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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