i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
