I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
