is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
