everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
