i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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