Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
