I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
