How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
