But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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