You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
