We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
