while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
