You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
