He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
