Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i dont even know how to be here
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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