YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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