Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
