Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
