i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
