aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
