I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
