no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
