Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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