Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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