so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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