I think I just saw someone hide a body.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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