this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
