Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
