I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
