i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
