Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
