Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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