but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
