We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
be right there i have to get my cape
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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