I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
