Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
