i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
