i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
