just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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