I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
