I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
