it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
