Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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