When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
