why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
