So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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