I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I am mentally ready for anal.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
